Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
