their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
