Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
