No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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