Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
