Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
