I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
