I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
