The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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