Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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