Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
