Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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