What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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