What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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