I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
