well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize