she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
