You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
