she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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