just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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