She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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