I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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