i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
