Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize