dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
