after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
