I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize