what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize