What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
