I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
