my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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