Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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