No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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