Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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