if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
