this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
