she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
