if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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