i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
