i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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