it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
