me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
