Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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