Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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