Banned from zoo.
Again?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
