I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
