you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
