well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize