i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
