where am i from again
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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