I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I supernannyed him into submission
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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