do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
