what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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