I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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