Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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