Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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