I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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