Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
