if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
