Just cropdusted the office
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
