we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
